Wednesday, 21 February 2018

Another day, another meeting!

Rather than boring you with details of a sewing day at Belchford being cancelled due to an important church meeting in Louth (think advert for new vicar) I thought that I would share two recent "posts" on facebook that seem to sum up my life!!  It would appear that I am suffering from both of them!

A recent study has indicated that fabrics give off certain pheromones that hypnotise women and cause them to purchase ungodly amounts of fabric. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the pheromones in the fabric causes memory loss and induce the gathering syndrome, similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter.
Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound heard only by a select few, known as stitchers. When played backward, the sounds are heard as chants...'Buy me! Stroke me!' Furthermore, pheromones seem to cause a pathological need to secret the fabric purchases away when one takes them home and blend them into the existing stash. When asked by a significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is, "oh, I've had it for a while!"
In order to overcome the so-called feeding frenzy effect that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility, and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. It is also beneficial to enter these storage facilities without the presence of cash or credit cards.
Sad to say, the addictive qualities of this compulsive behaviour are cumulative, and are ameliorated only by the purchase of more and more and more fabric .
No cure is known at this time.

Tonight it's my first pilates session - wish me luck!!

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